WHOYOUDATING-THE BLOG

LOVE AT FIRST SITE

2012-02-05T20:22:42Z

While love at first site is a romantic notion and one that some are fortunate to find, most have to settle for some type of a “chemistry” connection. This means that you may feel good about someone from the moment you meet, but unless it’s a chemical explosion, it’s not going to be at the same level as love at first site.

I posit that love at first site and chemistry in general is made up of both lust and the heart – sex and emotion, with lust/sex being the stronger component of the thing we call chemistry for men while emotion is the stronger component for women.

Many relationships are lopsided, where there can be love at first sight for one while the other sees nothing and would never pursue the relationship. Unless there is perfect and continues weighting of this thing we call love at first sight, a relationship could be clouded with subtle cracks that allow it to fall apart for no apparent reason. And when the things that made for the chemistry fade, it is not likely that your lover is going to tell you he/she is not really that into you because they either wish to be kind or they don’t really understand it themselves.

The lucky ones are those who truly experience love at first sight and the feeling is equally mutual. They are using two extreme forces to bind them together – the emotion/heart and the sex/lust – the very strong glue of relationships.

The third component that makes up relationships has to do with reason. What are some of the reasons people get into relationships. Oh, there are so many reasons, but the big ones are for money, prestige, dependency, companionship, security, to leave a bad situation, and the list goes on.

For those who enter into relationships using nothing more than reason/the brain, they are often doomed to frustration and breakup over time if the reason for being in the relationship disappears. Everyone knows that if you marry only for money (a good reason if you want to live a rich life) and the money is gone, the relationship falls apart.

It’s all about balance. You need sound “reasons” combined with “chemistry” and a whole lot of “other things” to be explored at a future posting for relationships to work out.

YOUR PROFILE - REVISITED

2012-01-02T15:32:42Z

After reading a bunch of Internet dating profiles over a long period
of time I noticed a theme, of sorts, that can best be described as poorly executed. You may need to rework the way you present yourself. After all, who you meet is an important matter whether you just date, have a new friend or end up marrying.

The perfect profile for iDating

I like to have fun but know when to be serious.

Don’t we all want to have fun? Isn’t this a given? Then why do 80% of profiles state that they want to have fun?

I like going out but can stay in and snuggle just as well.

Again, I think we all like to go out and snuggle when we get home. Maybe state things that are not so obvious!

I can even stand in the doorway and be happy.

If You really want to cover all bases, you may want to mention this position, too?

My glass is half full.

Then why are you on medication for depression?

I value loyalty, truthfulness and goodness but I want a man with an edge

Men with an edge are pigs! Don’t expect loyalty and truthfulness.

I like living on the edge but only of a small curb where there is no traffic

That’s because you are loyal!

I love sports as long as they don’t interfere with my gardening.

You’re trying too hard to be accepted?

I love scuba diving in my above-ground pool.

Don’t tell us about all the activities you don’t really like to do.

The Basics

Some of the profiles are absolute turnoffs. I hope you can tell if your own profile is guilty of being poorly written and fix it before life passes you by.

Spelling and grammar mistakes say something about you on a subtle level. I know you think everyone will excuse you, thinking you were just in a rush, and some will, but the quality guys and gals who speak English properly will not give you a pass. Have your fifth grade teacher edit your profile to make sure it’s well written.

Here’s some more help

Get a profile name that exudes greatness and is an amalgamation of all things good. I just saw one that said, Mizery13. Is this a joke, or is this a very depressed person? Maybe Happy Girl 7 says it better.

What about that cleavage?

Now here’s a subject that needs to be addressed. There are so many “come hither” photos. I suppose there are some women who believe in the “sex sells” phenomenon. They are actually on to something – sex does sell! What they may be missing is that they are actually selling sex, perhaps to their detriment if they are looking for a meaningful relationship rather than a roll in the hay.

It’s rather funny to see how many photos are taken with women bending down to put on their shoe. WTF. I suppose they weren’t ready for the photo and since there were none others they posted this one…or is it because when you bend over to adjust your shoe, your cleavage explodes forth from the tight shirt that just so happened to have the top three buttons undone.

If you’re going to take a photo half-dressed, why leave us wondering about the rest of the package? Take a shot adjusting your garter-belt and thong! Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I think revealing oneself in a hooch-manner may be sending the wrong message though I‘m sure it works. Just don’t complain about attracting the players.

Exhibitionism works both ways. Do you really think a guy who posts photos with in his muscle shirt or without a shirt is the type of guy who is interested in a quality relationship? While most of us have some level of exhibitionist tendencies, it’s not one of those traits that breed quality kind of people.

Interestingly, those who can’t seem to walk with head held high based in their intrinsic worth tend to go to the extreme. There are those folks who need to find something to substitute for substance. There are those who do the “gym thing” to develop admirable bodies while others opt for showing “the goods” (cleavage et al) and others take it to another level by going the ink and piercing root. Yes, they paint their bodies with assorted tattoos and pierce their faces to extreme. Then they enjoy the stares that they somehow think of as admiration while they are often getting stares of “What were you thinking?”

The Guys Profile Test –

Here is a simple test to see if you learned anything today. Read through this profile and see if there is anything that you feel sends the wrong message or that could have been better constructed by using the hints offered above.

My friends all say I’m miserable, rude, boring and not to be trusted. I don’t like having fun and would much rather stay in the house sulking. I don’t even own a glass, but if I did, there would be no bottom – hence – it would be empty. I watch a lot of TV after hours of watching porn, the later being my preference. For a first date I think we should meet at a public water fountain. That way no one has to pay for coffee in case we realize we are not a match. I had a dog, but he left home because I used to forget to feed him one too many times, but he was loyal (like me) when I remembered to feed him. Well that’s about it, so take a look at my photos of me in my Speedo. I think you may especially like the one showing the tattoo that covers my back with the picture of me on my friends Harley (well not actually my friend, it was at the curb outside this biker bar and I just got on it for the photo). Well that’s all I can think of to tell to you so, so long for now, and I hope we can meet really soon and maybe get married if the sex is good. Yours truly, Satan666

The Girls Profile - Test

My friends all say I'm a great shopper at retail outlets. While they often think of me as being catty, I take that to mean feline in appearance. I like to have fun, and if you want to find me, check out the beach to find me just chilling. The last book I read was Jane and Tom Go to School. I like the part about Jiff, the dog, running. To quote: "Run Jiff, run." I think it's the plot that gives me chills ever since I first read those words in second grade - a real classic. With lights down low, I like to snuggle, but don't think snuggle means sex because it doesn't. It means: to snuggle. My Champagne glass is always mostly full and I'm working on that issue at AA. Here's a picture of me putting on my shoe - forget the shoe, take a look at my boobs. I got a good deal on them, 3.5K by an Indian surgeon - can't pronounce his name. I'd give you his number but he had to go back to India suddenly. Anyway, as you can see, I do well with 36 double D's. Just make sure you look at all my photos because as you will see, I shop at all the finer stores. Well, that's it for now. I hope we can do one of those simple first dates at a high-end steakhouse. I find that high calorie food helps me maintain a tight fit in my Victoria Secret pushup bras. FYI I am interested in marriage as long as you don't expect sex too often. Once a month is a compatible number for me - what say you? Yours Truly, Bitch4U

YOUR EX THINKS YOU'RE A JERK

2011-12-11T15:41:05Z

I find it utterly amazing how many great men and women are on dating services - at least based on their descriptions of themselves.

They often start out by telling us how their friends would describe them. Terms like loyal, sweet, loving, kind, caring, nurturing. You get the idea. Just add every conceivable nice quality and you get the picture. Now here's the part that's difficult to comprehend. Most of these folks are divorced!

Why would anyone in their right mind let these people get away?

There's got to be something wrong with this picture. I suppose this is no different than Madison Avenue on dating.

Maybe we should have a Truth-In-Dating Site where the ex writes the profile for each person. Then we might get a different picture: He's a lazy bum, drinks too much, can't hold a job and cheats at the drop of a hat. Or maybe, she's a real bitch, keeps a lousy house and cooks things that can't be eaten. Again you get the picture.

In spite of all the negative ways your ex may think of you, there is a lid for every pot. Someone out there may find you just as charming as all your friends think you are.

So, if your ex thinks you’re a jerk, how is it that your new love thinks you are so great? This is an almost absurd reality of life and love. No matter what a jerk your ex was, there are going to be those out there that will not know it, or see it right away.

If he/she is really a jerk, in time they will be found out. Yes, once the honeymoon (usually defined as lust) is over, the real person shines through.

This is not to say that there are some jerks that belong together. There are some jerky traits that drove you crazy, yet they may be admired by someone else who is actually nice. It’s all relative. If your ex was a controller, and this new mate prefers to be controlled, now that’s going to work while it didn’t for you.

The thing that got me thinking was how some women think I am really nice, romantic, helpful, and all sorts of other things that would probably make my ex’s blood boil. Could she tell them a thing or two!

The reality (from my point of view, which means this is a relative-reality – yes, I am the first to put forth the theory of realitivty) is that we can get sick and tired of each other over time because we take each other for granted, we lose the passion, we are disrespectful when speaking to each other and we forget why we fell in love. We show contempt - the prime source of failed relationships according to Dr. John Gottman who has studied marriages more than most anyone.

That explains it all! This is why one person can fall in love with that jerky ex you had enough of after twenty years. This is the derivation of the expression, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” I do hope this metaphor helps when you think of your ex!

It is probably best to find peace with your ex, especially if you have children and want to be able to sit in the same room and be nice. Perhaps your ex was really a good person and for one reason or another you grew apart. Always give the benefit of the doubt, and remember you are no longer with this person so don’t let them continue to hurt you. Think of the good times!

GETTING TO KNOW YOU...THE VACATION

2011-10-31T20:03:22Z

First I want to apologize to all of my fans (yes, both of you) regarding my lack of posts to this blog. I am hoping to be back on track and entertain all those requiring guidance and humor in their lives on the dating circuit.

The best way to get to know someone is by the passage of time. Over the long haul each of us acts more like our real-selves as various defenses and cover-ups go by the way side.

Having to go through a year or more of dating to find out more about the true person you are deciding upon spending the rest of your life with, or until the next divorce, may be an unnecessary burden. You can learn faster by dating more regularly in an exclusive relationship, but there is an even speedier process that takes the relationship to a new level and it’s called the vacation.

The sleep away can really speed up the getting to know you process. Going away with someone allows you the time to see behaviors that may be more difficult to hide on a dating, hourly basis.

Even beyond the mere sleeping at their house, a vacation to a faraway place gives one the opportunity to see beyond the surface behaviors and get a glimpse into the heart of the beast.

It is hard to hide neuroses, psychotic behavior, OCD, and general maladjustment for too many days of intimate contact. This makes the road trip an important part of getting to know your new partner. And while vacations are usually based in relaxation and bliss, the mere activity of packing and traveling and unpacking and deciding what to do each day has enough stress built in to cut through all the layers of civility allowing you to meet your new mate – the ogre or the witch depending upon which gender you are taking this vacation with.

If you have the opportunity to see this person pack, you get a good idea of how practical and efficient they are along with their ability to handle stress.

Generally speaking, men pack in a most efficient, albeit ridiculous manner. Watching a man pack, or at least looking in his suitcase, reveals much about him. Usually the clothing is thrown into the abyss in a haphazard manner, unless your guy just so happens to be a neat freak, in which case he will have everything folded to perfection, neatly placed in a well thought out pattern. Right off the bat, you can tell more about this guy by a mere glimpse into his packing traits.

The same applies for the ladies, only they tend to be the more organized and fastidious packers. The thing you don’t see in just looking at the opened suitcase, unless you look carefully, with a magnifying glass, is how many hairs she pulled out of her head in creating this neatly organized baggage.

The truth is that women usually have more clothing than men and that means many more options when it comes time to go away. Think about it; you men have one pair of black shoes they go into the suitcase. It doesn’t involve a discussion or a debate with your inner self. It’s that easy. While the dirty soles of these black shoes may be strategically placed on top of that nice white dress shirt, it was probably not intentional.

Now look at the average woman’s closet. There are eighty to a hundred pairs of shoes in all the shades found in the premium Crayola crayon box set.

Deciding on which shade of purple shoe goes best with the dark purple bag could be difficult and actually require putting the six purple shoes on the floor in various lighting situations to best determine which ones to take. And if they some look good in the fluorescent lighting but not the natural lighting, she may have to take several of the purple shoes and bags so she won’t appear out of the appropriate color scheme when on the town. While there is much exaggeration here, there is truth lurking too.

Deciding where to go and where to eat gives you a look at many of the qualities and nature of your partner. Be on the lookout for bossy always wanting his/her way, being unable to make a decision about going anywhere, and stressing over every little thing that happens.

Be prepared for at least one argument and maybe more depending upon how good a judge of character you are that got you to be with this person in the first place. The argument can be decisive and result in never seeing this person again. If you see an argument brewing and you think it could lead to the demise of the relationship, stop it at all cost if you aren’t the one in procession of the car keys or plane tickets, or you may just find yourself on the street begging for fare on a Greyhound.

Some of the traits you may discover include pushy, controlling, indecisive, complaining, set in their ways, stressed and how they handle it, oblivious, overbearing and all sorts of negative traits. On the other hand, you may see great qualities like being in control, being able to make decisions, handling stress well, spirituality, and just about any of the many human qualities and skill sets known. It is your job to weigh the good and the bad and see if this person could be a match for you.

The vacation could help you to determine whether it is time to pass on a relationship or move it forward towards a union of eternal bliss.

Regarding vacations, I hope my loyal fan Lynne will respond with contact information in case you want to take a vacation. She's the best at finding and setting up a great vacation!

ANDROPAUSE AND INTERNET DATING - BUMMER!

2011-05-14T21:57:00Z

When you were young and dating, this topic never came up. Now that you may be entering into, or just past andropause, and find yourself dating again, there are some important issues to consider. First, if you have a bad case of andropause, you probably have no interest in dating, and that’s a shame.

Andropause just means your testosterone - the main male hormone, is fading as it does with all men in time – some more – some less – some sooner – some later.

Testosterone is what gives you your sex drive, your libido. It helps maintain your heart health as well as your mental health and has much to do with erections (the true meaning of life for many men and women). So you can see this is an important hormone. If the world suddenly had no testosterone, it is the one thing that could make a whore-moan - she'd be out of work!

(Get it? Hormone? Whore-moan!).

Just like with the ladies who enter menopause, the first step is to recognize if you have the condition, and next you have to consider treating it. Of course, if your libido is shot, you have erectile dysfunction and you’re feeling depressed by all of this, you probably have no desire to date anyone let alone have sex. That is why you need to keep your mind and eyes open for these changes and don’t ignore them.

It is much easier to fix hormonal imbalance early rather than later. If you fall too far, you may never have any interest in fixing the problem even though it is fixable - even in later stages if the guy can pick himself up and go for treatment. By the way, it's the same for the ladies.

There is a fear that treatment with testosterone can cause prostate cancer. Recent finding show this to be unlikely. It is the improper use of testosterone that can lead to cancer if you allow the testosterone to convert into female hormones which are more likely the trigger for prostate cancer. This is why it is so important to find a good doctor who understands the intricacies of the treatment and who is willing to see you often enough to monitor your blood chemistry to make sure you are not at risk.

Besides the sex issues of andropause, there are the other effects of low testosterone that cause weight gain, flabbiness, lost motivation, decreased executive skills. Yes, all the things that make you a man are in decline. Is it any wonder they call them, Grumpy old men?

The other option is to use all of your other attributes to find and make a partner happy while online dating: kindness, and personality. Don’t expect to find an Internet dating Victoria Secret model lookalike having much interest in you if you have become Haystacks Calhoun, a eunuch or Jimmy Carter – unless of course you have a Porsche.

For those of you who are younger and vital, take heed, take care of yourself, or you, too, will become your father and grandfather before your time!

Another bit of important advice: be careful of what you eat!

Much of the beef and chicken available has been injected with estrogen (female hormone) to make them bigger, plumper and more tender. Well guess what? This estrogen exposure is making men bigger, plumper and more tender. It is probably also putting all of us at risk for prostate cancer and the women for breast and ovarian/uterine cancer.

Consider buying and eating organic, grass-fed beef and organic free-range chicken.

Remember what they say: Give me a home where the buffalo roam, and I'll give you a house full of poop! Did you ever wonder who "they" are.

MENOPAUSE AND DATING

2011-04-24T17:56:00Z

When you were young and dating, this topic never came up. Now that you may be entering into, living through, or just past menopause, and dating again, there are some important issues to consider.

First, some women get so uptight about the effects of menopause that it keeps them entirely out of the game.

For some, it was menopause that got them back into the dating game as it could have been a factor in a fifty-something divorce.

Menopause may express several changes that can adversely affect relationships. Almost all of these changes are the result of the actual cause of menopause: decreased levels of hormones. Hormones can affect sexual desire (libido) and sexual performance, mood, depression and generalized comfort (hot flashes).

If you feel hot and sweat a lot, can’t sleep very well, are moody, not interested in engaging in sex and when you do it is painful, there is a good chance your relationship is not going to be all that good. Many couples get through this with the right amount of understanding, counseling/therapy, medical treatment and other assorted remedies. For others, there is a downward spiral that ends in either living frustrated lives without the closeness of sexual contact or divorce.

The very first thing you must do if you find yourself with a frustrated mate or without a mate at all due to this change in life is recognize that you have a problem and then get help. If your problem is mild, you may be able to work through it without too much difficulty, but if your problem is profound, you really need to talk to someone and get the appropriate therapy which may be a combination of talk-therapy and medications.

Because there is such misunderstanding about hormone replacement therapy (HRT), many women have been frightened away from this remedy that in certain cases is necessary. This BLOG is not the venue to discuss specific remedies, but you should speak with a knowledgeable doctor who works with bio-identical hormones.

If depression is the predominant effect of your menopause, it can easily become debilitating, or at minimum it can make seeking out treatment very difficult. Depressed people are often in denial or they don’t have the stamina, energy or clear-headedness to seek care. Often their friends and family will not know how to address the subject and it goes untreated.

I’d venture to say there are many women out there who have given up on relationships because they are too depressed to care. This is sad. If you know anyone like this, try to encourage them to get help.

If you want to meet a new partner (dating), being moody, sad all the time and having no interest in engaging in sex will limit your chances of finding anyone, and if you are depressed you won’t care one bit.

If you are able to maintain your mood and level of happiness and the only problem you have is sexual discomfort, there are many sex aids such as lubricants and toys that may help you to fulfill your sexual needs.

Women who have been out of the game for a long time may find sex with a new partner difficult both physically (painful and dry) and emotionally due to morality issues (sex was always a forbidden taboo), modestly issues (nakedness with a new person are not always easy) and image issues (feeling bad about your body and the changes that have taken place over the years). Again, these issues can all be remedied to different degrees depending on how much effort you are willing to give.

If your weight and body shape bother you a great deal, you may want to consider diet and exercise. Don’t expect that to happen if you are depressed. Even with the most positive attitude, too many years of neglect may make the task seem daunting. The other option is to use all of your other attributes to find and make a partner happy: kindness, sexual prowess (being good in bed) and personality. You may want to consider setting your standards more in-line with what you have become. Don’t expect Prince Charming to have much interest in you if you have become the first female Sumo wrestler.

While the subject in this post was dating and menopause, realize that it is not just menopause that sees these hormonal changes. With advancing age, all the effects continue. It is just during menopause that they are more dramatic and require an adjustment. As we approach old-age, there is a lot less sex going on. Relationships evolve into companionship and friendship, so make sure you like this person you date, because it may eventually lose some of the sexual/physical spark seen in earlier years.

HOW COME HE/SHE LOOKS SO OLD?

2011-04-05T23:42:00Z

Quite often, when perusing the little photos of perspective mates on Internet dating sites, I think the dating service must have sent me suggestions from the wrong group of women. These women are very much older than me.

Annoyed, I would then look at the person's age, and I'm really shocked! These old looking women are often ten or more years younger than me. How is this possible?

Actually there is a simple answer - I look just as old to all the women looking at my photo.

Yes.... you get old and don't see it.

Many years ago, at 75 years of age, my father told me he couldn't believe that he was 75. Inside he said he felt like 21. At that time, I didn't fully understand what he was talking about. Now, I understand. As we age, we don't see the cumulative effect. After all, we look in the mirror every day and it's difficult to see much change from day to day. If you didn't see yourself for many years, you would be shocked at the way time takes a toll, just like when you see an old friend from years ago and you can't believe it's them.

There is a set point at which people actually look young to you. For each of us this set-point may differ a bit, and I think it changes as we get older. For example, I notice that the forty-something women seem to look young to me. I suppose when I'm eighty, the sixty-something women will look young.

Do the mates ten and twenty years younger than you have any interest in becoming your soul mate? Good question! I would suspect that they are experiencing the same dilemma and looking at people ten and twenty years younger than they are.

I always laugh when I see a woman 56 saying that she is looking for a mate between 40 and 52. Does she think men in thier forties are looking for her? Is her perception of "self" a tab-bit warped?

It's a little understood but real phenomenon - we don't realize how much we have aged, and we seem to be attracted to people who look like we think we do. Boy, are we deceived!

Fortunately, there are some people who have aged very well. You’ll know them when you see their photos, feel an attraction, and then be very surprised when you see their age, because they look ten to twenty years younger than stated.

I'D NEVER DO ONLINE DATING

2011-03-27T02:44:00Z

I met a woman from France, of all places. I have never been to France, so as you can imagine, I met her locally. It was a treat, because she had a different set of values and philosophies that were refreshing aside from the fact that she was pretty and sexy.

When I told her I was writing about iDating, she told me that she "would never do that" to meet a man. I was rather surprised that anyone would cast aside a means of meeting others without knowing what it’s all about, so I explained.

I am sure she is not the only one who shuns this dating medium, so I will present my case for those of you who are reluctant, and I welcome comment to consider your concerns. Perhaps, once you read this entire guide to online dating, you may embrace it. We do fear what we don’t understand, so fear may be your reason, too.

When you think about it, there are only so many ways to meet your perspective special person. Let us count the ways: the match-maker (a remnant from the past though still practiced in more primitive cultures and by your busy-body friends who mean well), personal introductions, dating introduction services (more specialized recommendations based on personal interviews followed by matching traits), workplace meetings (getting more difficult with all the bullshit legal ramifications of harassment that have made it difficult to flirt or date coworkers without fear of imprisonment, the club scene (something better suited for the young), by fate (the French woman told me that you meet that special one when it is meant to be. I don’t know, I guess I do believe in fate to an extent, but I also believe you have to take charge of your life, too. Yes, you need balance.), organizational meetings (things like your house of worship or various organizations may sponsor social events for singles, or you may just meet a mate at a general interest functions) in the grocery store (great place to meet women), museums, and iDating. There are probably other ways to meet you love interest, but I can't think of any more because it's late.

Every medium has its pros and cons. You have to weigh the benefits of each and decide for yourself how to approach meeting your special person. Since some of these modalities rely on fate and only fate, you decide if you want to stay at home and wait or if you want to take the bull by the horns (how many expressions are there anyway?) and help fate bring that special someone to your door.

iDating allows you to take charge. Even if you don’t find a date, a least you are actively seeking Susan or Sam or whoever. The cool thing about iDating over many other modalities is that you get an instant chemistry test by virtue of the fact that there are little pictures of the people you are considering.

As shallow as you might think I am for bringing up chemistry, you are probably just as shallow. Sure, you can fall in love with someone that isn’t beautiful. After all, haven’t we drummed that into our kids from childhood with stories like Beauty and the Beast? Well, I can only speak for myself, but I can tell you, I prefer the beauty. And so do you!

It is so very much human nature to be attracted to certain things based on what they look like. You do this all the time when you chose furniture, buy clothing, flowers, fruit and just about everything. Ugly clothing will cover your private parts, it gets the job done, but that doesn’t mean you buy them. Same with girl watching and guy ogling (I created the latter expression, while girl watching was invented in my youth by others - the subject of a popular song, before I became so clever and inventive). I think I may just write a song for a female singer and call it, I’m a Guy Ogler. This is ADD as you may notice I keep losing focus).

You stare at people that appeal to you. That is called chemistry and it is a necessary component of choosing a mate. Shallow is if "chemistry" is all you base your choice upon, and that would be downright stupid – like marrying for money – wait, what’s wrong with that? You know I am kidding. You need all the good human components like kindness, good heart, compassionate, caring, honest, moral, and mentally stable – I could go on and on, but you know what I am talking about.

So, iDating provides you with an opportunity to rule out those with whom you have no chemistry, and as a bonus, you get to read all the things they say about themselves to woo you. And let me tell you right now, the visual chemistry thing may not be everything, but it sure as hell doesn’t lie like some of the entries you will read on iDating sites. For a fact, I know a predator who had the audacity to write on his profile that honesty was an important virtue to him.

Nothing is fool-proof, but at least you can see what you get - well, not always - make sure you go to the section on photographs and usernames.

Internet dating offers many, many choices. The medium has become so popular that you if you pick the right site, you can find a date in just about any city in most countries. Sure, there are a whole lot of frogs out there and you may have to have coffee or a meal or some nice flies with a few of them, but it sure beats a formal blind date that you know you have no interest the minute they come to the door.

The monthly cost of Internet dating is less than you would pay for one date a month with that frog, and it will be well worth avoiding the lost time a bad date uses up. This doesn’t mean you won’t go on a bunch of bad iDates. You probably will, because finding the right person for you is not an easy task, but you can have many choices of pre-profiled people to choose from and that improves your odds of finding a good match. Just don’t allow yourself to get too needy or too desperate - it will blind your soul and you may end up with a bad choice.